The Cat Channeller

This past Saturday I made a foray to the Big Pet Supply Store, for kitten food and kitty litter and a litter mat and a scratching post and who knows what all. In amongst the haul I brought home a book, Cat vs. Cat: Keeping Peace When You Have More Than One Cat, by Pam Johnson-Bennett.

I'm looking forward to introducing Wennie and the kittens in a few days, and I'm eager--not to say, anxious--that all should go well. After I'd stood there in the store reading it for maybe fifteen minutes, this book struck me as something worth having. Even as something I wished I'd had a couple weeks ago!

Well, I've pretty well finished reading it by now, and yes, Ms. Johnson-Bennett gives some great advice on introducing new and old cats to one another. For instance, it stands to reason what she says about letting them catch each other's scents and about sequestering the resident cat(s) while the newcomer(s) explores further afield.

But ye gods and little fishhooks! For most of this book, you could swear she's the paid lobbyist for the Feline Rights and Rewards Political Action Committee! Sometimes, I think she's channelling some mysterious cat spirit. Or maybe, she's part cat herself!

I mean, she prescribes two fifteen-minute play sessions per day with each cat! More, if my schedule is about to change or get busier! She tells me I shouldn't rearrange the furniture, because it'll upset their sense of place! I should have a litterbox for each of them, and maybe more! And don't put it in a corner, because kitty might get ambushed!

And all that you hear about cats being aloof and independent? Forget about it, according to this book. No, I read that it might provoke a crisis once I get a fulltime job, because cats actually suffer from separation anxiety! And as for going away for the weekend, let alone longer--!

So if I got cats because I thought they were drip-dry, wash-n-wear, wrinkle-and-care-free pets, apparently I am to see the error of my ways.

Yes, I am firmly convinced that Ms. Johnson-Bennett is a paid lackey of the Loyal Order of Cats and Kittens. If she isn't some eerie form of cat-human hybrid. And she is here to put me in my place. Firmly. To the delicate but gratified ovation of three pairs of feline paws.

It's enough to make a cat laugh.