DATELINE-- House of the Flying Furballs-- At approximately 7:00 o'clock this evening EST, a surprise attack was launched by feline guerilla forces against Fort Christmas Tree.
The first and only casualty in the lightning offensive was brave Lt. Roderick Redcoat, whose shattered scalp and headgear were recovered from the callous batting paw of a pink and white floofy kitten. A further search discovered his hanging hook near Tree Skirt Plain and his torso at the foot of Bookcase Cliff.
The first and only casualty in the lightning offensive was brave Lt. Roderick Redcoat, whose shattered scalp and headgear were recovered from the callous batting paw of a pink and white floofy kitten. A further search discovered his hanging hook near Tree Skirt Plain and his torso at the foot of Bookcase Cliff.
It is not known why Lt. Redcoat was stationed in a position so vulnerable to capricious cat attack. An unnamed source has suggested it was due to a bad deployment decision made higher up the chain of command. A Congressional investigation may be ordered.
When asked to make a statement, the Commandant of Fort Christmas Tree insisted that the feline foray was an aberration and that the position was basically secure.
The remains of Lt. Redcoat have been removed to a safe place, where they await final deposition.
