WCWF

Over-amplified announcer: Laaaadieeeees an' gennelmennnnnnn! Welllcommme to t'night's champeenship bout of the Whirld Cat Wrassling Federation!

Tooonighttt! in this corner, wearing the calico spots and weighing in at 10.9 pounds, we have the nine-year-old deefending champeen, Rhadwen the Great!

An' in this corner, wearing gray-brown stripes and a white bib and weighing in at 8.5 pounds and ever-growing, we give you the six-month-old challenger, Huw the Bold!

Referee: OK, you cats know the rules. Hissing, spitting, snarling, tackling, swiping, givin' the evil eye-- thass all okay. But keep them claws in, okay? We don't want no blood spilt in this house-- I mean, in this arena. Okay, shake paws and may the best cat win!

Announcer: Ladies an' gennelmen, we got a reelly beeg cat wrassling battle in store for you tonight!

Rhadwen leaps full force on Huw! Huw springs away and down he goes on his back, he's got them pointy ends up in full defensive position! Rhadwen leaps again! but Huw scrambles and swipes with paws, front and rear! But now the Champeen has her mouth around the challenger's neck! Huw ain't lying down for that, nosirree-- he swipes! one! two! three! with his fierce front paws and springs clear! Will the Champeen go in pursuit? No! she turns her back and gives young Huw the advantage! A hit to the backside! Another! Another! Quickly Rhadwen turns and pounces and the battle is jined agin!! The contenders are locked in an all-out roll-and-wrassle head-and-body-lock duel to the finish! Who will win? Will Rhadwen keep her creown? Or will Huw be the new champeeen?

. . . Wait a minnut. There seems to be some problem in the ring! Llewellyn the Magnificent has vaulted the ropes and jined the action!

Ref: You dumb dog! You got no business here! This is Cat Wrasslin we're on for t'night! Hey! contenders! Git back in the ring! You run away like that, you both forfeit the match! Git back heeere! No, not you, you dumb dog, the cats, the cats!!!!

Announcer: Ladieees and gennelmen, the Management's apologies, but tonight's Whirld Cat Wrasslin Federation Champeenship match seems to be over before a decision could be reached. Thank yew all fur comin', and jine us agin for the nex WCWF match, to be held any time, any place, at a multiple-cat household neer yew!

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Notice: No felines (or canines) were harmed in the production of this blog post. Not so far, at least . . .